Traveling With Children

I just finished a ten day road trip with my mom, dad, brother Andy, my nine year old nephew Spencer, and my five year old daughter Sam. Traveling before I had a child was blissful. I could read a book during the drive, have in depth conversations with other adults, and I could pack everything I could possibly need for a week in one small bag. This is simply not possible with a child.

Allow me to elaborate. When I was childless my husband and I planned spontaneous trips to romantic locales on a regular basis. We spent a week in San Francisco for our honeymoon. We slept in as late as we wanted, ate where we wanted, and visited attractions that didn't include a mouse or an arcade. A few years later we had the desire to eat breakfast at a restaurant we visited several times while we were there. We decided to go Friday afternoon. By Friday evening we were on the road driving for twelve hours and Saturday morning we were in San Francisco. We arrived to the city by the bay several hours before the restaurant opened and had no problem getting a few hours of rest in our car in Golden Gate Park. We ate, visited Ghiradelli Square, got in the car and drove home. Every year we would disappear for a few days. We wouldn't tell anyone where we were going and turned off our cell phones to have a true get away.

This all changed when we had our daughter. Traveling now takes the same level of planning, packing, preparation, and logistical support as the Normandy invasion of WWII. Every mile and every minute has to be carefully planned from the kid friendly destination and hotel, to preplanning a stop every two hours for potty breaks, to finding restaurants that serve the all important kids meal, and packing every last article of clothing, toy, dvd player, dvds, coloring books, games, the all important stuffed animal without which she will not sleep, granola bars, candy, chips, water, juice boxes, peanut butter, jelly, and bread (in case no restaurant can be found with the desired toy in the ever so important kids meal), travel pillow, blanket, Kids Bop cd's, and a pony. With all these distractions you would think a child would be entertained for eternity...and you would be wrong. Despite packing an entire Toys R Us and Wal Mart into your minivan your child will still ask you every ten seconds "are we there yet" and force you to play endless hours of eye spy. When you arrive at your destination you will be so exhausted that all you want to do is take a nap. This will be impossible because thirty miles before getting to your hotel your little one fell asleep, combine that with being cooped up in a car for several hours and you have a toddler who could single handedly power Beijing for six months with its stored energy.

As a dutiful parent you desire to take your children not just to every Disney park ever created but also to sites of historical significance. My wonderful parents took Sam to Washington DC last year. They took her to the Smithsonian, all the monuments, and Arlington Cemetery. At Arlington they stopped to see JFK's eternal flame. For any of you who haven't seen it let me describe it to you. A simple headstone for President Kennedy is flanked by headstones for his son Patrick, wife Jackie, and daughter Arabella. The grave site is filled out with several mismatched stones with grass growing in between them (I have no idea why they are so mismanaged but perhaps it's an artists rendition meant to evoke thoughts of his ancestral homeland, Ireland). Placed just above JFK's headstone is his eternal flame. I've never understood the purpose of an eternal flame. It is either meant to be thought provoking or further proof of the human race's mastery of fire. The entire site is watched over by a military guard and surrounded by a black chain that you are obviously not meant to cross. So, after being an angel throughout the changing of the guard ceremony at The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier my parents take my daughter to see the eternal flame and grave site of one of our nations most revered presidents. What does my respectful daughter do? She climbs under the black chain, runs across the headstones, vaults the flame, is chased down and tackled to the ground by the guard, and subsequently black listed from Arlington Cemetery. That is how my daughter shows respect for a national treasure.

So you may ask why, if we know how the trip is going to go, why do we continue to take our children to places that are not the most entertaining for our kids? The answer is because we want our children to grow up knowing and appreciating their heritage. And we also do it because our parents forced us to see places like that and it's a long held tradition that whatever disservice we suffered as a child our children will also suffer. And the last reason is population control. No doubt all the single and childless people at Arlington Cemetery that day are still single and childless. My daughter single handedly extended the Earth's resources that day by 3%.